Oftentimes we can be scared that difficult conversations are going to turn into conflict. In this blog post, I will examine five ways to navigate a difficult conversation in a way that avoids conflict.
1. Listen and Accept
Someone is telling us something that can be difficult to hear but is equally uncomfortable to bring up. Initially meeting them with acceptance like saying: “thank you for telling me”, can set a great base for the conversation.
2. Empathetic Responses
While you may be feeling offended, angry, sad or anxious, someone is coming to you with their concerns. Offering empathy to them, by saying “I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way” or “I’m glad you brought this to my attention”, allows the other person to feel heard and responded to.
3. Maintain Boundaries
Just because they have brought this conversation up, doesn’t mean we have to have it. Being aware of our own boundaries allows you to ask yourself: ‘Is this something that I want to talk about?’ or ‘Is this conversation handled in a respectful way?’. Only if our boundaries are respected by the other person, we can choose to engage in conversation with them.
4. Reflecting on Ourselves
When being faced with a difficult conversation, it is also important to ask ourselves: ‘what makes this a difficult conversation for me?’. Perhaps what makes this situation triggering is that is reminds me of something in my past. Here, highlighting how this conversation is different or even sharing with the person you are talking to what makes it difficult, can help make it easier to have these types of conversations.
5. Respond
Once we're aware of what is going on within the other person and ourselves, we can reflect on what it is that we’re trying to say/respond to. At the end of the day, when we are trying to avoid conflict, questions to ask ourselves may be: ‘what do I really want to express?’ or ‘how can I make myself/the other person feel better’. This allows us to express our perspective which may be “I’m sorry this has happened” or “I feel misunderstood”, to work towards finding a mutual resolution.
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